let's let it be for now. no matter how discreet we try to be someone will find out and it's going to be annoying.
don't worry.
[ but it is a little worrisome, more-so when in the next week kenma starts getting hate mail that actually reaches their home — an address only close friends and colleagues should have. or someone who's been following him without him knowing.
for once though neither of them is home, and given their schedule, this time kenma is the one coming home after wakatoshi. and likely wakatoshi would never go through kenma's mail, but there's an alarming pile of it waiting that might encourage him to check.
regardless, when kenma sends this text, he has no idea of course. his flight home is for two days out. ]
[And, as Kenma requested, Ushijima lets it be, even if the thought of it nags at the back of his mind for the next few days. It pricks at his nerves when he sees the look on Kenma's face upon receiving the mail but he's a man of his word and if Kenma won't open up about it, then he won't bring it up.
No matter how much it bothers him.
He's granted some respite from grueling training and traveling with a week off (which, for him, equates to just training by himself at home, naturally). In just the first two days, he catches up on his books and his gardening, and cleans the majority of their living space. This leaves him without much to do and without Kenma around in that same space, it only highlights the stack of mail Kenma had collected. Curious as he might be, he'd never open or check someone else's mail without their permission so he gathers them all up and sets them inside of the drawer at Kenma's gaming desk. There. Out of sight, and out of mind. Sort of.]
I am home and I am safe, thank you. The cats are well. I've fed them and they're now fast asleep.
[Have an unfiltered photo of your kids fast asleep, Kenma.]
How are you?
i hope you are feeling better ;; also sorry on my end too...sdlkfjsd
good that you're home and good that you're safe they look happy
[ as to how he's feeling...tired. anxious. there's been an uptic in harassment on everything from his social media channels to his livestreams. but it is par for the course given his profession. he knows that; he does. sitting tucked into the smallest ball imaginable, the generous luxury of his hotel room is wasted on him. he just wants to be home.
the message from wakatoshi helps even so, just to be asked. he's got one from kuroo too, and shouyo.
focus.
focus on what's right. not what's not.
he has to talk himself through it more often than not. sometimes it works. sometimes it doesn't. ]
i'm just tired
[ in a way, that brevity even for kenma is a telltale sign enough. he's on the edge of asking wakatoshi to meet him at the airport, but it wouldn't make sense, would only draw attention. and kenma tells himself it's fine. ]
If you are tired, perhaps you should rest. It is not too early to go to sleep and you have a busy day tomorrow, right?
[And after waiting for a reasonable enough amount of time to pass, he allows his concern to flow through. No sense in hiding it -- he couldn't even if he tried.]
That said, you're normally awake at this time for your streams and business calls.
[ it's such a short not helpful answer. but he hopes wakatoshi understands by now. 'too many people' is as good as kenma having capped out on his intake. he's running on fumes and with the stress and invisible anxiety of the sense that there is a bigger more targeted problem going on right now from a follower, well....he blinks blearily. how else to say? he lays his head down and, despite normally preferring text, hits the call button and waits for wakatoshi to pick up.
he's not even on the bed of the hotel, but the floor, feeling safer and wishing there was a cat here -- or wakatoshi, or both -- as well ]
Did you pack the travel white noise machine with you? There are also some videos on Youtube with black screens to help if you didn't.
[It's unusual for someone like Ushijima Wakatoshi to ever feel helpless, but this is one of those times. There's only so many suggestions and random ideas he can offer for him while knowing, ultimately, none of those things would work as well if he were there with Kenma, to do whatever he needed. Social media and phones help, to a certain extent, but...
His phone rings and he answers on the second ring, while trying to calm one of the cats down. Kenma might hear the meows before Ushijima's bass.]
[ it's a wholly unhelpful response yet they've been together long enough it's likely wakatoshi can understand even that tired intonation. sometimes kenma hits walls, the sort of quiet repeated overflow of entering a limelight sort of occupation. the problem of this targeted harassment is, well, just additional stress. he doesn't want to actually say any of it though, often can't. if he was at home, he would wordlessly demand closeness.
he sighs. ]
Am...I can't remember your schedule...sorry...
[ tired...but can't sleep... ]
...will you be...you have to leave before I come back don't you?
[ not a guilt thing, this is just kenma wanting to prepare himself mentally for whether the house is with or without him. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
if this is too much i can edit!
don't worry.
[ but it is a little worrisome, more-so when in the next week kenma starts getting hate mail that actually reaches their home — an address only close friends and colleagues should have. or someone who's been following him without him knowing.
for once though neither of them is home, and given their schedule, this time kenma is the one coming home after wakatoshi. and likely wakatoshi would never go through kenma's mail, but there's an alarming pile of it waiting that might encourage him to check.
regardless, when kenma sends this text, he has no idea of course. his flight home is for two days out. ]
you get home safe?
the cats okay?
[ priorities TM. ]
no worries, sorry for the delay, got sick
[And, as Kenma requested, Ushijima lets it be, even if the thought of it nags at the back of his mind for the next few days. It pricks at his nerves when he sees the look on Kenma's face upon receiving the mail but he's a man of his word and if Kenma won't open up about it, then he won't bring it up.
No matter how much it bothers him.
He's granted some respite from grueling training and traveling with a week off (which, for him, equates to just training by himself at home, naturally). In just the first two days, he catches up on his books and his gardening, and cleans the majority of their living space. This leaves him without much to do and without Kenma around in that same space, it only highlights the stack of mail Kenma had collected. Curious as he might be, he'd never open or check someone else's mail without their permission so he gathers them all up and sets them inside of the drawer at Kenma's gaming desk. There. Out of sight, and out of mind. Sort of.]
I am home and I am safe, thank you. The cats are well. I've fed them and they're now fast asleep.
[Have an unfiltered photo of your kids fast asleep, Kenma.]
How are you?
i hope you are feeling better ;; also sorry on my end too...sdlkfjsd
they look happy
[ as to how he's feeling...tired. anxious. there's been an uptic in harassment on everything from his social media channels to his livestreams. but it is par for the course given his profession. he knows that; he does. sitting tucked into the smallest ball imaginable, the generous luxury of his hotel room is wasted on him. he just wants to be home.
the message from wakatoshi helps even so, just to be asked. he's got one from kuroo too, and shouyo.
focus.
focus on what's right. not what's not.
he has to talk himself through it more often than not. sometimes it works. sometimes it doesn't. ]
i'm just tired
[ in a way, that brevity even for kenma is a telltale sign enough. he's on the edge of asking wakatoshi to meet him at the airport, but it wouldn't make sense, would only draw attention. and kenma tells himself it's fine. ]
it's a bad season, lol
[And after waiting for a reasonable enough amount of time to pass, he allows his concern to flow through. No sense in hiding it -- he couldn't even if he tried.]
That said, you're normally awake at this time for your streams and business calls.
What bothers you?
it really is...im so sorry ;;
[ it's such a short not helpful answer. but he hopes wakatoshi understands by now. 'too many people' is as good as kenma having capped out on his intake. he's running on fumes and with the stress and invisible anxiety of the sense that there is a bigger more targeted problem going on right now from a follower, well....he blinks blearily. how else to say? he lays his head down and, despite normally preferring text, hits the call button and waits for wakatoshi to pick up.
he's not even on the bed of the hotel, but the floor, feeling safer and wishing there was a cat here -- or wakatoshi, or both -- as well ]
😖😓
[It's unusual for someone like Ushijima Wakatoshi to ever feel helpless, but this is one of those times. There's only so many suggestions and random ideas he can offer for him while knowing, ultimately, none of those things would work as well if he were there with Kenma, to do whatever he needed. Social media and phones help, to a certain extent, but...
His phone rings and he answers on the second ring, while trying to calm one of the cats down. Kenma might hear the meows before Ushijima's bass.]
Hello, Kenma?
<3 <3 <3 i love them :c idk incredibly fond
[ it's a wholly unhelpful response yet they've been together long enough it's likely wakatoshi can understand even that tired intonation. sometimes kenma hits walls, the sort of quiet repeated overflow of entering a limelight sort of occupation. the problem of this targeted harassment is, well, just additional stress. he doesn't want to actually say any of it though, often can't. if he was at home, he would wordlessly demand closeness.
he sighs. ]
Am...I can't remember your schedule...sorry...
[ tired...but can't sleep... ]
...will you be...you have to leave before I come back don't you?
[ not a guilt thing, this is just kenma wanting to prepare himself mentally for whether the house is with or without him. ]